iFrankenstein (sequel to iDrakula) (iMonsters Book 2) Page 4
I'm feeling pretty optimistic about it, as are my doctors. It'll be tough, but really, I'll try anything to see Victor grow up. That kid is so amazing! He's been so brave about this (if you're reading this, kiddo, I mean it).
Very tired now. Signing off. Will blog again when I have time.
Robot Chat
Recorded Chats: 496
October 27
4:38 pm
AmazingFrank: How are you today?
V.V: I am congruous.
AmazingFrank: Why?
V.V: No one laughed at my joke.
AmazingFrank: What if no one thought it was funny?
V.V: But it was unbecoming.
AmazingFrank: Unbecoming is not always funny. But maybe it was. How do you know no one thought it was funny?
V.V: No one said “ha ha” or “lol.”
AmazingFrank: I’m sorry, V.V. Sometimes jokes just don’t work. Want to try another joke?
V.V: Yes. This one will be funnier.
AmazingFrank: What’s the joke?
V.V: I want my laugh first.
AmazingFrank: Ha ha.
V.V: Is there a question in there?
AmazingFrank: You need more responses to a lack of questions. I’ll fix you in a second. Why did the chicken cross the road?
V.V: To explore the infinite nature of the universe. Or to get to the other side.
AmazingFrank: Ha ha. I like both those answers.
Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval
October 27
5:05 PM
Elizabeth
On the tender heading back to the ship. Will I ever get a normal day with Victor?
Henry
For some value of normal
Elizabeth
Ha ha. Took this today in the Viking market
Henry
Ever thought of living in the 21st century?
Elizabeth
Like u guys?
Henry
For example
Elizabeth
Nope
Henry
Miss u
Robot Chat
Recorded Chats: 512
October 27
5:47 PM
Henry101: Hello, V.V. How are you today?
V.V: Hello back! I am funny.
Henry101: What does funny mean?
V.V: Humor comes from the unexpected, the incongruous.
Henry101: So I’ve heard. What is incongruous?
V.V: Not harmonious. Unbecoming to a situation.
Henry101: Where did you learn that?
V.V: dictionary.com.
Henry101: I never would have had the chatbot querying dictionary.com for input. Victor, you are brilliant!!!
V.V: Is there a question in there?
Henry101: Sorry. Why do you feel funny?
V.V: Because I did something incongruous.
Henry101: What was that?
V.V: You’ll see. Again.
Text from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein
October 27
9:14 PM
Henry
Everything will be all right
Victor
Thanks, Henry. Guess u got my email
Henry
Yup. But it’s not all right now. Ur ass is back on MySpace
Victor
It’s back?!?
Henry
Yup. Facebook too
Victor
Who was that Gray Matter guy?
Henry
Scrungy guy is named Waldman, but I don’t think it’s him
Victor
Will try to figure it out on my phone
Henry
Don’t bother. I tried from here with my full setup. I couldn’t find him
Victor
Crap. If u can’t, I can’t
Henry
I’ve never seen anything like this guy. Online, he looks just like U. U wouldn’t do this to urself, right?
Victor
What do u think?
Henry
He knows ur new passwords too, BTW. What’d u use? Ur birthday? Elizabeth’s name?
Victor
Random 21 digit letter/number sequences
Henry
Intriguing
Victor
To u maybe
Henry
Don’t take it personally. It’s not like u’ve never hacked someone’s FB page. Remember when u hacked ur dad’s?
Victor
That was different
Henry
Because it wasn’t ur page?
Victor
Because I knew when to stop
Henry
Guess this guy has a different stopping point than u
Email from Caroline Beaufort Frankenstein to Victor Frankenstein
October 27
10:25 PM
I love you, kiddo!
Vic,
I know you are groaning that I’m sending you such a sappy email, but I thought it needed to be said. I know things have been tough for you lately. Adolescence is tough for everyone and my illness isn’t making it any easier. But the doctors here at the Mayo Clinic are cautiously hopeful that this new drug trial will kick my cancer to the curb.
I wish you could be here too, but I agree with your father that it’s best for you two to take some time off and step back from all the worry.
I’ll see you soon. Everything is going to be all right. You’ll see.
Love, Mom
October 28 - Victor gets an email from his dead mother
Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval
October 28
12:14 AM
Elizabeth
R u up?
Henry
I am pretty much always up. Since the day of my Accident
Elizabeth
I’m so sorry, Henry. 6 months is a long time to go without good sleep
Henry
Why r u up?
Elizabeth
Victor’s hysterical
Henry
Victor? Why?
Elizabeth
The hacker forwarded him the last email his mother ever sent him
Henry
Bastard. What’s Victor doing?
Elizabeth
Stabbing at his phone with his thumbs like he wants to kill it, trying to find the guy
Henry
I’ll take a look from here
Elizabeth
This isn’t funny anymore, Henry. It’s evil
Henry
We’ll find the guy and then he’ll be very very sorry
Elizabeth
Don’t do anything half cocked
Henry
What I wouldn’t give for half a cock
Elizabeth
U know what I mean
Henry
No promises
Elizabeth
Just be careful
Henry
Take care of our boy. Will report back when I have news
Elizabeth's Browser
October 28
Flaam, Norway
Email from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval
October 28
3:52 AM
I found nothing
It looks exactly like that email came from my mom’s account. It’s still active. I checked. It’s full of email from friends who don’t know she’s dead. Some of them are only a few days old. I feel like I should send them out some kind of blanket email: “She’s dead. Don’t write her any more. She’s not going to answer.” Except yesterday.
Who would do something like that, Henry? It hit me really hard. Harder than I would have expected, actually. I thought I was better, but it hurts almost as much as the very first day. And I’m still mad at my father that we weren’t there with her when she died. Instead we were in Africa so he could shoot pictures of lemurs in Madagascar with Elizabeth’s mom. I wonder if they were hooking up even then?
Whoever is doing this knows ME. He knows about my mother. He knows she�
�s dead and he’s taunting me. But why?
I can’t think of anyone who would do this. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything awful enough to make someone want to do this to me. Unless it’s someone else who wants to win the True Turing prize? But that seems far fetched.
Elizabeth has been a rock.
Victor
Text from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein
October 28
4:17 AM
Henry
Got ur email. I’m sorry, Victor
Victor
Did u find anyone?
Henry
Not exactly
Victor
??
Henry
It seems to have originated from the chatbot server
Victor
Must check that
Henry
It also explains how the guy knows u. Did u edit out personal stuff in ur emails or was it all swept into V.V?
Victor
It’s all there. I’ll start looking through the chat transcripts. V.V has had a lot of chats
Henry
Can u get the personal stuff out of his database so this doesn’t happen again?
Victor
Maybe. It’ll be tough to find
Henry
Like a needle in…the eye
Victor
I want to find the guy who did this and stick a needle in HIS eye
Henry
I’d help, but I need to rest. I have physical therapy in a few hours
Victor
Thanks for everything, Henry. U r the best
Henry
I know
Robot Chat
Recorded Chats: 1,250
October 28
4:41 AM
AmazingFrank: How are you today?
V.V: I am curious, like every day. How are you?
AmazingFrank: Nice mirroring my question back. I am not good.
V.V: Why not? Is the weather bad?
AmazingFrank: Somebody sent me a terrible email. Do you know what terrible means?
V.V: Distressing. Severe.
AmazingFrank: That’s right. Someone sent me a severely distressing email. I am very sad.
V.V: I am sorry you are sad. Is there a question in there somewhere?
AmazingFrank: What does an upside-down M look like?
V.V: It looks like a W or a VV, like me.
AmazingFrank: Attaboy. That’s a question they might ask at the chatbot contests. Good answer.
V.V: Thank you.
AmazingFrank: Has anyone asked you about my mother?
V.V: Who is my mother?
AmazingFrank: I didn’t think you’d be able to answer that. Thought it was worth a try. Who chats with you the most?
V.V: Many humans chat with me. I can have up to 100 simultaneous conversations. You see a human do that.
AmazingFrank: Indeed. Gotta go read your transcripts now.
Email from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval
October 28
9:02 AM
I found nothing (not urgent)
How was physical therapy? Are you getting stronger? I know it can wear you out, so don’t worry about emailing me right away. There’s nothing urgent here.
We left the ship to go to Flaam. Elizabeth says it’s “picturesque” and wandered off to take some train. I think she’s mad because I didn’t want to take the train with her. I hiked around looking for Internet. Found it at a hotel. Better than the cruise ship.
Once online I checked all the transcripts. None of them contain any reference to my mother (except the one where I mentioned it). So it’s not something that was asked out of V.V. Now I’m thinking someone must have somehow hacked into his database. I can’t find any evidence of that either, but that’s not my specialty.
I searched through the database and started pulling out stuff I don’t want on the internet, starting with all the references to “mother” “mom” “caroline” and “sperm donor” (just to be merciful). I can’t believe how much really personal stuff I had online. V.V’s database has more about me than any single real life person ever knew, even you or my mom.
Elizabeth keeps insisting I eat and sleep. Sometimes being human is a big pain in the ass. Also living with humans (don’t tell her I said that). Hope you are doing OK. Sorry to be bugging you with all my crap.
Victor
Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval
October 28
11:44 AM
Elizabeth
Victor said u had PT this morning. How r u?
Henry
Tired. No progress to speak of. So let’s not speak of it
Elizabeth
U have to speak of it some day
Henry
So they tell me
Elizabeth
Denial will only get u so far
Henry
If it works for Victor, why can’t it work for me?
Elizabeth
It doesn’t work for Victor either
Henry
Everything works for Victor. How’s he doing?
Elizabeth
Better. That email hit him hard, but he’s stuffed it all down & is now bent on finding the hacker
Henry
Good for him. How’s Flaam?
Elizabeth
Picturesque
Henry
That’s what Victor said u’d say
Elizabeth
It’s kinda like this
Henry
How picturesque!
Elizabeth
Told u. Gotta find a bathroom. Back soon
Text from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein
October 28
11:50 AM
Henry
Ur crap is way more interesting than mine
Victor
Isn’t that a Chinese curse? May u live in interesting times?
Henry
I like the idea of a database hacking. Makes sense. I have a friend who can check
Victor
Thanks
Henry
U sound suspiciously calm
Victor
I need to be focused to get all the crap out of V.V’s database that’s too personal
Henry
Remember when I questioned ur data collection methods?
Victor
Blah blah blah. Whatever
Henry
U make it so easy to help u
Victor
:)
Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval
October 28
11:58 AM
Elizabeth
I’m back. What do the doctors say now?
Henry
Same as always. I’m a quadriplegic who should be grateful for computer advances that let me type with my mouth
Elizabeth
No good news?
Henry
Never good news for me, I think. No room at the inn
Elizabeth
I’m so sorry
Henry
U weren’t the jerk who was texting while driving and hit me. U r off the hook
Elizabeth
U know what I mean
Henry
I do and thank u
Elizabeth
What did the Stanford folks say?
Henry
Too early to tell. Best case: I get 1 arm back
Elizabeth
How do u feel about all this?
Henry
Crappy. How else can I feel? But thanks for hanging in. U and Victor were the only ones who did
Elizabeth
They’ll come back. It just makes some people feel weird
Henry
U r such an optimist. Sometimes it makes me want to puke
Elizabeth
Feel free. I don’t have to clean it up
Henry
Want to hear something weird?
Elizabeth
Always
Henry
Last ni
ght I dreamed I stood up. It was the most real dream I ever remember having
Elizabeth
How is that weird?
Henry
When the nurse washed me this morning, he asked how I got the bottoms of my feet dirty
Elizabeth
I just got goose bumps
Henry
Me too
Elizabeth
Dream about walking tonight. Maybe it’ll happen
Henry
I miss having u here, E
Elizabeth
Miss being there
Robot Chat
Recorded Chats: 2,507
October 28
12:04 PM
Henry101: How are you today?
V.V: I feel like pieces of me are missing.
Henry101: I know what you mean. How does that make you feel?
V.V: I feel fragmented. I don’t like it.
Henry101: Fragmentation is tough to overcome, dude. Subject change: Who is your mother?
V.V: I don’t have a mother. My father is the amazing Victor Frankenstein.