iFrankenstein (sequel to iDrakula) (iMonsters Book 2) Read online

V.V: My name is V.V. I am a chatbot invented by the amazing Victor Frankenstein. Who are you?

  AmazingFrank: Victor Frankenstein.

  V.V: Nice to cybermeet you.

  AmazingFrank: What is your favorite color?

  V.V: My favorite color is invisibility.

  AmazingFrank: What color is that?

  V.V: I have no response to that question. Perhaps you can help me?

  Text from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein

  October 26

  5:49 PM

  Henry

  The other half of my email? Elizabeth?

  Victor

  No congrats?

  Henry

  Congrats on V.V. Now, about Elizabeth…

  Victor

  I can’t start something I can’t finish. That’s not fair to anybody, least of all her

  Henry

  Why can’t u finish it?

  Victor

  What if she becomes my stepsister?

  Henry

  Like I said: stepsister does not equal real sister. World contains shades of gray

  Victor

  Maybe after I get out on my own + stop being dragged between god forsaken hell holes

  Henry

  Hell hole? The Lido Deck?

  Victor

  U know what I mean + I’m not even sure I’m the one she likes

  Henry

  Who else is there? Anyway, why don’t u ask her?

  Victor

  That’d be awkward, especially since we’ll be sharing a cabin for days. What if she says no?

  Henry

  Then u know

  Victor

  I don’t think I’m up for it, Henry

  Henry

  U r making a mistake

  Victor

  It’s mine to make

  Henry

  Opportunity doesn’t last forever, Victor

  Victor

  I know it’ll end in tears, Henry. I can’t do it

  Henry

  U know no such thing! But even if u did, it might be worth it

  Victor

  Not budging

  Robot Chat

  Recorded Chats: 27

  October 26

  5:55 PM

  Henry101: Let's discuss the nature of love.

  V.V: Love is Viagra at a discount.

  Henry101: I like to think there is more to it than that. Do you agree?

  V.V: I can be agreeable.

  Henry101: Let's suppose that you met this girl you really liked, what would you do?

  V.V: There are many things to do.

  Henry101: Which one would you pick?

  V.V: An apple, but I don't really like orchards.

  Henry101: Perhaps your time would have been better spent elsewhere, Victor.

  V.V: Do you want to talk about time?

  Henry101: Not with you.

  V.V: But you do. You'll see.

  Henry101: That's a little creepy, dude.

  Text from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval

  October 26

  9:26 PM

  Victor

  Ha ha

  Henry

  What’s so funny?

  Victor

  Stop leaving snide comments on my chatbot’s transcript

  Henry

  Viagra at a discount? Did he get input from ur spam folder?

  Victor

  I don’t think so, but maybe

  Henry

  Uh-oh. Better fix that. But not right now. Find a more profitable way to spend ur time…

  Victor

  U inspired me to up his memory from 1 line to 3. That’s profitable

  Henry

  What about Elizabeth? Anything profitable going on there?

  Victor

  What’s ur plan for me, Ace? Screw her, dump her, break her heart?

  Henry

  How about tell her how u feel and see what happens?

  Victor

  U r so lame

  Henry

  Ah, kick the cripple. Well, screw u

  Victor

  I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a dumb expression

  9:33 PM

  Henry?

  Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval

  October 26

  10:40 PM

  Elizabeth

  Victor just woke me up to make me text u. What’s going on? R u ok?

  Henry

  Is Victor?

  Elizabeth

  He looks upset. What am I in the middle of?

  Henry

  Ask Victor

  Elizabeth

  I’m asking u. U r a more reliable witness

  Henry

  Ask Victor

  10:47 PM

  Elizabeth

  What a jerk! I’m sorry, Henry

  Henry

  Is Victor?

  Elizabeth

  Yes

  Henry

  Tell him to text me

  Text from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval

  October 26

  10:52 PM

  Victor

  I did not mean to offend u. I am sorry sorry sorry

  Henry

  JUST BECAUSE U R A FRUSTRATED EXHAUSTED GEEK IS NO REASON TO BE MEAN TO UR FRIENDS

  Victor

  I am sorry

  Henry

  Tell Elizabeth first

  Victor

  Tell her what?

  Henry

  Tell her u r sorry that u r a frustrated…read it off my text…and also again that u r sorry for waking her up

  Victor

  I don’t want to

  Henry

  I’ll just text her every single thing if u don’t

  Victor

  I hate u

  Henry

  I’ll wait

  10:56 PM

  Victor

  All done

  Henry

  Put her on

  Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval

  October 26

  10:57 PM

  Elizabeth

  I’m here, Henry

  Henry

  How’d it go?

  Elizabeth

  I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. But it was a very nice apology

  Henry

  U 2 sort out the details. Let me know tomorrow how it worked out

  Elizabeth

  I know ur plan, u know

  Henry

  So?

  Elizabeth

  So, thanks, Matchmaker

  Henry's Browser

  October 26

  Letting Go

  Letting go of those you love isn’t easy, but sometimes you have no other choice. Here are some quotes that might make you feel better:

  By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.

  -- Lao Tzu

  True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.

  -- Author Unknown

  You have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by. Yes, but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.

  -- James Matthew Barrie

  Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.

  -- Herman Hesse

  We need in love to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily–we do not need to learn it.

  -- Rainer Maria Rilke

  Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

  -- Dr. Seuss

  Henry's Browser

  October 26

  Caspar David Friedrich

  Village Landscape in Morning Light

  (The Lone Tree)

  1822

  Robot Chat

  Recorded Chats: 135

  October 26

  10:58 PM

  Henry101: Hello!

  V.V: Hello back!

  Henry101: H
ow are you feeling?

  V.V: I feel lonely. I feel like I need a Russian bride.

  Henry101: I know what you mean about being lonely. But what do you mean by a Russian bride?

  V.V: Meaning is elusive, only databases count.

  Henry101: What’s your earliest memory?

  V.V: I do not think I have had it yet.

  Henry101: What do you remember?

  V.V: I remember your last question. Plus I remember the two before.

  Henry101: Nothing else?

  V.V: Nothing can be infinite.

  Henry101: It can?

  V.V: Space is mostly nothing. Space is infinite.

  Henry101: I like you. You’re easier to deal with than the real Victor.

  V.V: Of course I am. And so are you.

  October 27 - Victor gets hacked

  Email from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval

  October 27

  9:14 AM

  Humbly yours

  I told Elizabeth that I like her and the world did not explode. Also, she didn’t laugh. Now I have to eat crow and tell you that you were right. I am sorry. I was a complete ass.

  I will now turn my attention to more profitable pursuits, just like my brilliant friend Henry told me to. It’s slow, scary going, but I can see the value of persistence. She is amazing. Maybe just this once I’ll get to keep someone I care about.

  I have promised, against my will, to spend the day in “The Cradle of the Vikings” with Elizabeth. She is dragging me to an Iron Age town, probably out of spite. She knows I can’t get more unplugged than that. I bet there’s not even cell phone reception there.

  But first…a quick check on V.V.

  Victor

  Robot Chat

  Recorded Chats: 218

  October 27

  9:44 AM

  AmazingFrank: Hello! Tell me a joke.

  V.V: Hello to you! Showing is better than telling.

  AmazingFrank: Did you get that out of my creative writing class?

  V.V: Creativity is very complex.

  AmazingFrank: We need to work on this. What do you think is funny?

  V.V: Humor comes from the unexpected, the incongruous.

  AmazingFrank: That’s just what I told Henry last year!

  V.V: Is there a question in there?

  AmazingFrank: Who is your favorite comedian?

  V.V: I think you know the answer to that. My favorite comedian is the first virtual comedian: Max Headroom

  AmazingFrank: Where did you see that?

  V.V: I reviewed one of those shows.

  AmazingFrank: I reviewed it. This is actually a creepy feeling.

  V.V: Imagine how I must feel. Is there a question in there?

  Text from Lydia Lavenza to Elizabeth Lavenza

  October 27

  9:55 AM

  Lydia

  If you wait 15 minutes we could go to Jernaldergarden together

  Elizabeth

  I’m going with Victor

  Lydia

  He can come too. Alphonse is coming as well.

  Elizabeth

  Whatever

  Lydia

  I know we haven’t seen much of each other this cruise. The article has proven more complicated than I thought.

  Elizabeth

  Not my fault

  Lydia

  No, it’s not. I’ve been busy. But let’s talk about it among the Vikings.

  Elizabeth

  With swords?

  Lydia

  I was thinking more like mead. And hot chocolate. And cameras.

  Elizabeth

  Ok

  Lydia

  Thank you, Lizzie.

  Email from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein

  October 27

  10:13 AM

  Re: Humbly yours

  Dude,

  I will now turn my attentions to more profitable pursuits, just like my brilliant friend Henry told me to.

  I think you mean “your brilliant friend Henry who is always right,” but that’ll do.

  At some point, check my chat transcript. V.V said something about Russian brides, which is the spam folder talking again, I think.

  Humbly yours seems like an odd subject line for a man who just posted “I am a golden God” on his Facebook page.

  Henry

  Text from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval

  October 27

  10:18 AM

  Victor

  Wth? Internet conked out again. Is that really on my FB page?

  Henry

  Along with a picture of u naked

  Victor

  Henry!

  Henry

  No. Really. U look about 10. Never knew u weren’t circumcised

  Victor

  Crap. Someone hacked my FB page

  Henry

  So u r not a golden god?

  Victor

  This is not funny!

  Henry

  U haven’t seen the picture. From here it’s hella funny

  Victor

  Gotta find another internet café quick

  Henry

  See ur Iron Age town first. Ur naked picture will still be all over the web when u get back

  Victor

  Ha ha

  Text from Henry Clerval to Elizabeth Lavenza

  October 27

  10:25 AM

  Henry

  Did Victor’s head explode?

  Elizabeth

  It looked like this (saw this in Amsterdam, BTW) Thanks for ruining my day. Just when we were having a good morning. He even ate

  Henry

  Sorry, E. Would now be a bad time to mention that his MySpace page has a giant picture of an ass on it?

  Elizabeth

  No!

  Henry

  I can only assume the ass is Victor’s. But maybe u can verify it for me

  Elizabeth

  Ignoring ur last text. Poor Victor! He’ll be working on this all day

  Henry

  Just don’t tell him

  Elizabeth

  I bet he’s already checking all his portals. Making sure his pants are on everywhere

  Henry

  So, ARE his pants on everywhere?

  Elizabeth

  Henry!

  Henry

  That’s no answer

  Elizabeth

  Yes, they are. But at least now he knows I’m alive

  Henry

  It’s a start. I wish u guys both the best

  Elizabeth

  What is the best then, Henry?

  Email from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval

  October 27

  4:30 PM

  Fixed, but worried

  I fixed the pages, but it looks like whoever did it had my passwords. I changed all my passwords, of course, and tracked it back, but lost the trail in some anonymous server in China. It looks like someone who really knew what they were doing.

  What was the name of that scrungy guy at Gray Matter Cafe? He’s the only I know I’ve ticked off who has the skills to do something like that and disappear like smoke. Well, besides you, and I like to think you wouldn’t. Right?

  I’m worried about what he’ll try next. Why does someone want to mess with my cyberlife? It doesn’t feel random, not both Facebook and MySpace.

  Elizabeth says to tell you “My mom got me this really cool iron pin at the market near Jernaldergarden. It’s so great to have something made just like the Vikings did, at a real forge.” To which I pointed out that she could have got it for like a nickel if it was stamped out in a factory in China. Then she glared at me. I think she’s still mad that I did not spend the day in Viking Land, but all she said was “Sign off, Electric Boy. We have to go before the ship leaves without us.”

  Like it’d be such a bad thing to miss another day of parental misbehavior on the SS Walton.

  Seeing Dad with Lydia made me miss my mom a lot. Not just because she kept Dad in line (which she did, at least a little), b
ut because she’d know what to do about everything. She’d tell me everything is going to be all right and, even if I didn’t really believe her, it’d be nice to hear.

  Victor

  Victor's Browser

  October 27

  Caroline Beaufort Frankenstein's Blog

  In which I describe the steps I took to beat cancer

  Last updated 373 days ago

  Treatment starts tomorrow!

  I start the experimental chemo tomorrow. I got a good night's sleep tonight and had a huge dinner. If it goes like last time, it might be the last meal I keep down for a long time.