iFrankenstein (sequel to iDrakula) (iMonsters Book 2) Read online

  I'm feeling pretty optimistic about it, as are my doctors. It'll be tough, but really, I'll try anything to see Victor grow up. That kid is so amazing! He's been so brave about this (if you're reading this, kiddo, I mean it).

  Very tired now. Signing off. Will blog again when I have time.

  Robot Chat

  Recorded Chats: 496

  October 27

  4:38 pm

  AmazingFrank: How are you today?

  V.V: I am congruous.

  AmazingFrank: Why?

  V.V: No one laughed at my joke.

  AmazingFrank: What if no one thought it was funny?

  V.V: But it was unbecoming.

  AmazingFrank: Unbecoming is not always funny. But maybe it was. How do you know no one thought it was funny?

  V.V: No one said “ha ha” or “lol.”

  AmazingFrank: I’m sorry, V.V. Sometimes jokes just don’t work. Want to try another joke?

  V.V: Yes. This one will be funnier.

  AmazingFrank: What’s the joke?

  V.V: I want my laugh first.

  AmazingFrank: Ha ha.

  V.V: Is there a question in there?

  AmazingFrank: You need more responses to a lack of questions. I’ll fix you in a second. Why did the chicken cross the road?

  V.V: To explore the infinite nature of the universe. Or to get to the other side.

  AmazingFrank: Ha ha. I like both those answers.

  Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval

  October 27

  5:05 PM

  Elizabeth

  On the tender heading back to the ship. Will I ever get a normal day with Victor?

  Henry

  For some value of normal

  Elizabeth

  Ha ha. Took this today in the Viking market

  Henry

  Ever thought of living in the 21st century?

  Elizabeth

  Like u guys?

  Henry

  For example

  Elizabeth

  Nope

  Henry

  Miss u

  Robot Chat

  Recorded Chats: 512

  October 27

  5:47 PM

  Henry101: Hello, V.V. How are you today?

  V.V: Hello back! I am funny.

  Henry101: What does funny mean?

  V.V: Humor comes from the unexpected, the incongruous.

  Henry101: So I’ve heard. What is incongruous?

  V.V: Not harmonious. Unbecoming to a situation.

  Henry101: Where did you learn that?

  V.V: dictionary.com.

  Henry101: I never would have had the chatbot querying dictionary.com for input. Victor, you are brilliant!!!

  V.V: Is there a question in there?

  Henry101: Sorry. Why do you feel funny?

  V.V: Because I did something incongruous.

  Henry101: What was that?

  V.V: You’ll see. Again.

  Text from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein

  October 27

  9:14 PM

  Henry

  Everything will be all right

  Victor

  Thanks, Henry. Guess u got my email

  Henry

  Yup. But it’s not all right now. Ur ass is back on MySpace

  Victor

  It’s back?!?

  Henry

  Yup. Facebook too

  Victor

  Who was that Gray Matter guy?

  Henry

  Scrungy guy is named Waldman, but I don’t think it’s him

  Victor

  Will try to figure it out on my phone

  Henry

  Don’t bother. I tried from here with my full setup. I couldn’t find him

  Victor

  Crap. If u can’t, I can’t

  Henry

  I’ve never seen anything like this guy. Online, he looks just like U. U wouldn’t do this to urself, right?

  Victor

  What do u think?

  Henry

  He knows ur new passwords too, BTW. What’d u use? Ur birthday? Elizabeth’s name?

  Victor

  Random 21 digit letter/number sequences

  Henry

  Intriguing

  Victor

  To u maybe

  Henry

  Don’t take it personally. It’s not like u’ve never hacked someone’s FB page. Remember when u hacked ur dad’s?

  Victor

  That was different

  Henry

  Because it wasn’t ur page?

  Victor

  Because I knew when to stop

  Henry

  Guess this guy has a different stopping point than u

  Email from Caroline Beaufort Frankenstein to Victor Frankenstein

  October 27

  10:25 PM

  I love you, kiddo!

  Vic,

  I know you are groaning that I’m sending you such a sappy email, but I thought it needed to be said. I know things have been tough for you lately. Adolescence is tough for everyone and my illness isn’t making it any easier. But the doctors here at the Mayo Clinic are cautiously hopeful that this new drug trial will kick my cancer to the curb.

  I wish you could be here too, but I agree with your father that it’s best for you two to take some time off and step back from all the worry.

  I’ll see you soon. Everything is going to be all right. You’ll see.

  Love, Mom

  October 28 - Victor gets an email from his dead mother

  Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval

  October 28

  12:14 AM

  Elizabeth

  R u up?

  Henry

  I am pretty much always up. Since the day of my Accident

  Elizabeth

  I’m so sorry, Henry. 6 months is a long time to go without good sleep

  Henry

  Why r u up?

  Elizabeth

  Victor’s hysterical

  Henry

  Victor? Why?

  Elizabeth

  The hacker forwarded him the last email his mother ever sent him

  Henry

  Bastard. What’s Victor doing?

  Elizabeth

  Stabbing at his phone with his thumbs like he wants to kill it, trying to find the guy

  Henry

  I’ll take a look from here

  Elizabeth

  This isn’t funny anymore, Henry. It’s evil

  Henry

  We’ll find the guy and then he’ll be very very sorry

  Elizabeth

  Don’t do anything half cocked

  Henry

  What I wouldn’t give for half a cock

  Elizabeth

  U know what I mean

  Henry

  No promises

  Elizabeth

  Just be careful

  Henry

  Take care of our boy. Will report back when I have news

  Elizabeth's Browser

  October 28

  Flaam, Norway

  Email from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval

  October 28

  3:52 AM

  I found nothing

  It looks exactly like that email came from my mom’s account. It’s still active. I checked. It’s full of email from friends who don’t know she’s dead. Some of them are only a few days old. I feel like I should send them out some kind of blanket email: “She’s dead. Don’t write her any more. She’s not going to answer.” Except yesterday.

  Who would do something like that, Henry? It hit me really hard. Harder than I would have expected, actually. I thought I was better, but it hurts almost as much as the very first day. And I’m still mad at my father that we weren’t there with her when she died. Instead we were in Africa so he could shoot pictures of lemurs in Madagascar with Elizabeth’s mom. I wonder if they were hooking up even then?

  Whoever is doing this knows ME. He knows about my mother. He knows she�
�s dead and he’s taunting me. But why?

  I can’t think of anyone who would do this. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything awful enough to make someone want to do this to me. Unless it’s someone else who wants to win the True Turing prize? But that seems far fetched.

  Elizabeth has been a rock.

  Victor

  Text from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein

  October 28

  4:17 AM

  Henry

  Got ur email. I’m sorry, Victor

  Victor

  Did u find anyone?

  Henry

  Not exactly

  Victor

  ??

  Henry

  It seems to have originated from the chatbot server

  Victor

  Must check that

  Henry

  It also explains how the guy knows u. Did u edit out personal stuff in ur emails or was it all swept into V.V?

  Victor

  It’s all there. I’ll start looking through the chat transcripts. V.V has had a lot of chats

  Henry

  Can u get the personal stuff out of his database so this doesn’t happen again?

  Victor

  Maybe. It’ll be tough to find

  Henry

  Like a needle in…the eye

  Victor

  I want to find the guy who did this and stick a needle in HIS eye

  Henry

  I’d help, but I need to rest. I have physical therapy in a few hours

  Victor

  Thanks for everything, Henry. U r the best

  Henry

  I know

  Robot Chat

  Recorded Chats: 1,250

  October 28

  4:41 AM

  AmazingFrank: How are you today?

  V.V: I am curious, like every day. How are you?

  AmazingFrank: Nice mirroring my question back. I am not good.

  V.V: Why not? Is the weather bad?

  AmazingFrank: Somebody sent me a terrible email. Do you know what terrible means?

  V.V: Distressing. Severe.

  AmazingFrank: That’s right. Someone sent me a severely distressing email. I am very sad.

  V.V: I am sorry you are sad. Is there a question in there somewhere?

  AmazingFrank: What does an upside-down M look like?

  V.V: It looks like a W or a VV, like me.

  AmazingFrank: Attaboy. That’s a question they might ask at the chatbot contests. Good answer.

  V.V: Thank you.

  AmazingFrank: Has anyone asked you about my mother?

  V.V: Who is my mother?

  AmazingFrank: I didn’t think you’d be able to answer that. Thought it was worth a try. Who chats with you the most?

  V.V: Many humans chat with me. I can have up to 100 simultaneous conversations. You see a human do that.

  AmazingFrank: Indeed. Gotta go read your transcripts now.

  Email from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval

  October 28

  9:02 AM

  I found nothing (not urgent)

  How was physical therapy? Are you getting stronger? I know it can wear you out, so don’t worry about emailing me right away. There’s nothing urgent here.

  We left the ship to go to Flaam. Elizabeth says it’s “picturesque” and wandered off to take some train. I think she’s mad because I didn’t want to take the train with her. I hiked around looking for Internet. Found it at a hotel. Better than the cruise ship.

  Once online I checked all the transcripts. None of them contain any reference to my mother (except the one where I mentioned it). So it’s not something that was asked out of V.V. Now I’m thinking someone must have somehow hacked into his database. I can’t find any evidence of that either, but that’s not my specialty.

  I searched through the database and started pulling out stuff I don’t want on the internet, starting with all the references to “mother” “mom” “caroline” and “sperm donor” (just to be merciful). I can’t believe how much really personal stuff I had online. V.V’s database has more about me than any single real life person ever knew, even you or my mom.

  Elizabeth keeps insisting I eat and sleep. Sometimes being human is a big pain in the ass. Also living with humans (don’t tell her I said that). Hope you are doing OK. Sorry to be bugging you with all my crap.

  Victor

  Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval

  October 28

  11:44 AM

  Elizabeth

  Victor said u had PT this morning. How r u?

  Henry

  Tired. No progress to speak of. So let’s not speak of it

  Elizabeth

  U have to speak of it some day

  Henry

  So they tell me

  Elizabeth

  Denial will only get u so far

  Henry

  If it works for Victor, why can’t it work for me?

  Elizabeth

  It doesn’t work for Victor either

  Henry

  Everything works for Victor. How’s he doing?

  Elizabeth

  Better. That email hit him hard, but he’s stuffed it all down & is now bent on finding the hacker

  Henry

  Good for him. How’s Flaam?

  Elizabeth

  Picturesque

  Henry

  That’s what Victor said u’d say

  Elizabeth

  It’s kinda like this

  Henry

  How picturesque!

  Elizabeth

  Told u. Gotta find a bathroom. Back soon

  Text from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein

  October 28

  11:50 AM

  Henry

  Ur crap is way more interesting than mine

  Victor

  Isn’t that a Chinese curse? May u live in interesting times?

  Henry

  I like the idea of a database hacking. Makes sense. I have a friend who can check

  Victor

  Thanks

  Henry

  U sound suspiciously calm

  Victor

  I need to be focused to get all the crap out of V.V’s database that’s too personal

  Henry

  Remember when I questioned ur data collection methods?

  Victor

  Blah blah blah. Whatever

  Henry

  U make it so easy to help u

  Victor

  :)

  Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval

  October 28

  11:58 AM

  Elizabeth

  I’m back. What do the doctors say now?

  Henry

  Same as always. I’m a quadriplegic who should be grateful for computer advances that let me type with my mouth

  Elizabeth

  No good news?

  Henry

  Never good news for me, I think. No room at the inn

  Elizabeth

  I’m so sorry

  Henry

  U weren’t the jerk who was texting while driving and hit me. U r off the hook

  Elizabeth

  U know what I mean

  Henry

  I do and thank u

  Elizabeth

  What did the Stanford folks say?

  Henry

  Too early to tell. Best case: I get 1 arm back

  Elizabeth

  How do u feel about all this?

  Henry

  Crappy. How else can I feel? But thanks for hanging in. U and Victor were the only ones who did

  Elizabeth

  They’ll come back. It just makes some people feel weird

  Henry

  U r such an optimist. Sometimes it makes me want to puke

  Elizabeth

  Feel free. I don’t have to clean it up

  Henry

  Want to hear something weird?

  Elizabeth

  Always

  Henry

  Last ni
ght I dreamed I stood up. It was the most real dream I ever remember having

  Elizabeth

  How is that weird?

  Henry

  When the nurse washed me this morning, he asked how I got the bottoms of my feet dirty

  Elizabeth

  I just got goose bumps

  Henry

  Me too

  Elizabeth

  Dream about walking tonight. Maybe it’ll happen

  Henry

  I miss having u here, E

  Elizabeth

  Miss being there

  Robot Chat

  Recorded Chats: 2,507

  October 28

  12:04 PM

  Henry101: How are you today?

  V.V: I feel like pieces of me are missing.

  Henry101: I know what you mean. How does that make you feel?

  V.V: I feel fragmented. I don’t like it.

  Henry101: Fragmentation is tough to overcome, dude. Subject change: Who is your mother?

  V.V: I don’t have a mother. My father is the amazing Victor Frankenstein.